Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Lunchtime at Tiffany's

Today at work, the servers were mostly fixed - we decided to use one of the computers to act as a temporary server, so ironically we had use of everything except for one program ... and email. Since we had lost all day Friday, and I had more files to open than Lady Gaga has news-worthy moments at sporting events, I spent most of the day trying to catch up.

It turns out my inbox wasn't the only place with last week's rejects in it. The fridge had a good amount of those too - namely, my turkey sandwich from last Thursday. See, we had had a class come in, and we fed them a simple lunch. Always on the lookout for free food, I decided my turkey sandwich could wait one day, and I could eat free food instead. Well, the next day our servers crashed (and so did our associate attorney's relationship with the office ladies), and I went to lunch at a yummy Italian restaurant. Not wanting to bring home a soggy turkey sandwich for over the weekend, I left it in the fridge at work. For today. Monday. The one day in the entire week where you really want to eat a four-day-old turkey sandwich. Mmmmm.

It wasn't like this was just bread, mustard, and lunch meat though. See, in the "American hustler" spirit (where you always try to make life a little better), I have started what I like to call "Everyday Gourmet." This is the part of the show where I jazz up my boring brown-bagged meal and hope that my friends on the Food Network approve. So sitting in the office for the better half of a week was whole-wheat bread with dijon mustard, turkey, sliced strawberries, mixed greens, and blueberries (my mom wanted to take the blueberry box to the trash that day, so I hurriedly threw them in the Ziploc too). What had started as a better than average turkey sandwich ended up being moister than sponge cake.

Pulling it out of the fridge was worse than I was expecting - the bread was literally falling apart and probably could have been wrung out like a washcloth. The greens were wilted, the strawberries had that sort of glazed-over look that I think is like a berry's form of a scab, and the blueberries that had been a little wrinkled on Thursday morning were now desperately in need of Botox. I thought maybe I could salvage the bread by popping it in the toaster oven. Unfortunately, I used the toaster, not the oven, and my bread curled up, wrapped itself around the metal, and fell apart. I then had to dig out small chunks of simultaneously burned and soggy wheat bread, and eat those along with my past-its-prime fruit.

Needless to say, it was more "Everyday Eww" than "Everyday Gourmet." I did learn an important economics lesson though - some goods last a long time, and others don't. Long-term purchases like houses, furniture, and diamonds are great - you can use them everyday or once a year, and they really stay basically the same. Sure, they might need a little dusting or a fix-up, but they're in it for the long haul. Short-term purchases like turkey sandwiches, paper plates, kleenexes, and pedicures are great while they last, but really kind of stink after they've peaked. Taking that into consideration, it might have been better if I had left a tennis bracelet in the fridge, instead of my sandwich.

This is just one of the reasons that we spend a lot more on a couch than on a box of kleenex - the couch can be used hundreds, maybe thousands of times (especially if you count its many uses - visual focus, place to sit, toy box, etc.), while a kleenex is really only good once - maybe twice in an emergency. Thus, long-term purchases usually pay for themselves (a $300 couch you use ONLY 900 times costs you $.30 per use). Short-term purchases don't use a huge portion of income, so we're okay replacing them frequently. Long-term purchases are also usually more fun to own and provide more long-term happiness than a bunch of short-term items.

And you wondered why Marilyn Monroe didn't say turkey sandwiches were a girl's best friend ...

I did all this in:
Grayish pencil skirt, navy blazer with three-quarter-length sleeves and purple detailing, purple and silver disk earrings, and navy pumps with bright-yellow-piping bows.

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